All of the gossip sites are reporting that Michael Phelps took his skank home to Maryland for Thanksgiving, where he introduced her to his parents for the first time.
Personally, I don't care what skanks Phelps is phucking, but I must follow Stars' lead. Her wrath is no laughing matter.
-boogie
Showing posts with label Michael Phelps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Phelps. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 2
Still A Skank
Friday, November 28
Skank
According to TMZ, Michael Phelps is dating the pile of trash on the right. Gross.
Wednesday, November 19
GQ Man of the Year
Rawr. Michael Phelps represents for the athletes.
Did I mention... rawrrr?
Tuesday, August 19
Jennifer Lopez: Does Anyone Still Care?
Well, well, well. Looks like the LLR Public Enemy List just got a little longer... and a whole lot more arrogant. Jennifer Lopez, take your #2 place next to Dan Uggla. We don't like your kind around here.
And what did Miss Lopez do to earn herself a spot on the shitlist of some sports bloggers? No, it wasn't her terrible acting or even more vile singing (though we could do without those here.) It wasn't even how pissed off I am that Maid in Manhattan is being made into a tv series. What we here at the LLR do not tolerate is a blatant disregard for our fine men and women who have busted their ass to earn our respect. There's no protools in sports, sweetheart.
On Lopez' GMA performance this morning, she was overheard as saying she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer.” According to a GMA source, “She couldn’t come up with Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ ” Ok. Are you out of your damn mind? I know fame and fortune gets to people's heads, but the level of this atrocity is just unfathomable. We Americans have been blessed with the greatest athlete OF ALL TIME and you think you're a bigger story? You haven't had a hit in years and Michael Phelps just won an unprecedented 8 gold medals in one Olympic games. The LLR is a proud member of Team Phelps and we are having NONE of that.
Oh wait, you just gave birth and you're competing in a mini-triathlon (Malibu is a half-mile ocean swim, an 18-mile bike course, and a 4-mile run. Real triathlons are a 2.4-mile ocean swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run)? Now that you put it that way... I still don't give a fuck. Case in point: our miracle woman, Dara Torres. Dara, pregnant in 2006, continued to train through morning sickness and was back in the pool within weeks of giving birth. At the age of 40, just 15 months after giving birth, she won gold in the 100M freestyle at the US Nationals and followed that up a week later by breaking her own American record in the 50M freestyle. She even talks about how she literally went directly from breast feeding her daughter to the blocks on the OLYMPIC trials and whipped some ass. Yeah, so no sympathy or big congratulatory parade for you, Jennifer. You can suck it.
So, in conclusion, Miss Lopez, here is an abbreviated list of things I care about more than your mini-triathlon:
1) What Michael Phelps had for breakfast
2) The NL East race
3) Whether or not Ryan Gosling is sporting facial hair
4) How I can get more cell phone minutes for a cheaper price
5) How nasty the Fried Chicken Snack on my desk may or may not be
6) The price of bananas in Guam
7) What my cleaning lady had for breakfast
8) ANYTHING MICHAEL PHELPS DOES EVER (including if he decides to star in the tv version of Maid in Manhattan)
Call me crazy, but no one on the planet, Marc Anthony included, gives a flying fuck about your triathlon. 300 years from now, during the goddamn 2309 Olympics, people will STILL be talking about Michael Phelps. Believe me, by then your time as a FlyGirl on In Living Color will be long forgotten.
-stars
Monday, August 18
MVP of the week - Was there ever any doubt?
I'll keep this one short and sweet. Ladies and Gentlemen, a man who needs no introduction, the greatest human swimmer this planet has ever seen, Mr. Michael Phelps.
I saw it. You saw it. The entire world saw Phelps catapult himself into Olympic history by winning 8 gold medals in one Olympic outing - more than any other athlete in history.
MORE THAN ANY OTHER ATHLETE IN HISTORY.
It was an amazing moment. I was filled with an enormous amount of pride to see all unfold live before my eyes. Michael Phelps is officially the most famous athlete in the world. I honestly don't have anything else to say about the matter. I mean, seriously...WOW.
- boogie
Thursday, August 14
Olympic Observations: Michael Phelps must be great in the sack.
Michael Phelps is the greatest swimmer this planet has ever seen. He has supreme discipline over every muscle in his body. He has the best stroke in the world.
YOU DO THE MATH...
-boogie
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